At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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