I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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