Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
