HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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