Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
