So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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