Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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