I wanna bring you to show and tell
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
