I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
