Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
