I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
