that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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