Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
