I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
