I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
