There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
