What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
