I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
