when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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