One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
