bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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