i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
