I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
