she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
