They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
