So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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