So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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