They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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