Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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