Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
