just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just want to make out with him forever
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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