Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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