Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
