How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
