i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
