I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You're earring is so big in my mouth
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
