There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I had to cum in my sink.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
