The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
