I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
