Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
