Banned from zoo.
Again?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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