My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
