i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
