I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
