How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
