Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
