How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
