i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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