I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
