She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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