So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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