We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
